Pro-life: It is more than just an ideology.

Being pro-life isn't an easy thing. And I'm not just referring to the fact that being pro-life is counter cultural. It is hard in the living out, day-to-day, moment-to-moment way.

Being pro-life requires a selflessness. It requires putting others before yourself.

This way of living has many manifestations that play out in our everyday lives. For example...

When making the prayerful decision about whether to be open to new life, being pro-life often means giving more weight to things such as God's Will, God's provision and God's standards of a successful and fulfilling life and less weight to personal comfort and material things. It requires trust in God, our loving Father, and approaching the issue with the starting perspective of "Why not?" rather than "Why should we?."

And once another child is on the way, being pro-life often means accepting things such as morning sickness, the prospects of another c-section, sleepless nights with a newborn and squeezing into a house or car that is slightly too small for your growing family. This again requires trust in God as well as being able to see these struggles and sufferings as an opportunity to grow in holiness and a way to bring you closer to our crucified Lord who suffered for us.

And when there is an elderly parent or grandparent in your life, being pro-life often means you have to take time out of your daily life to care for their needs. It can mean making time to visit them,  chasing away their loneliness with a phone call, listening to them tell the same story for the hundredth time or making sure to speak louder so they can hear you. This requires reliance on God to give you the wisdom and patience you need as well as the ability to see in this person the wisdom that comes with a life lived Iong instead of someone whose lived past their usefulness.

The pro-life way of life, if lived truly, has a bearing on how we treat our spouse and our children, how we deal with a child with disability, how we approach a serious illness. It has bearing on how we treat our friends as well as our enemies, how we give care to the homeless, poor and all those in need and how we approach those with whom we disagree.

Because, you see, being pro-life means being 'pro' the other. It means living and acting for the other. Being pro-life is not just an ideal that we shoot for or a cause that we fight for. It should be a way of life that we live for and one that we live out.

Truly being pro-life means laying down your life for another. And another and another...for all others that God brings into your life. It means love.

And isn't this just what Jesus taught us?

"This is my commandment: love one another as I have loved you. No one has greater love than this, to lay down his life for one's friends."  John 15:12-13

May God, the giver of life, and Love Himself help us to live a truly authentic, inspiring, world altering, heart changing life that is always pro the other. Amen!

Ad majorem Dei gloriam

The Father's Heart

As proof that you are children, God sent the spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying out, “Abba, Father!” So you are no longer a slave but a child, and if a child then also an heir, through God.

~Galatians 4:6-7

My child, do not be afraid! Do you really think that I have left you alone and orphaned? Not I! Do you really think I am an angry and distant God? Not I! I am your Father. Not a distant father, No! I am Abba – Daddy. The One who knows you. The One who loves you. The One who willed you – wanted you -  before time began. You are here so I can love you. All I want from you is your love. All else will follow. Love Me. Trust Me. My heart – my fatherly heart - yearns for the time when you will truly, deeply, know just how much I love you. I know this world is not easy. But do not fear - I am with you. I will stay with you from now until you draw your final breath. It is then that you will come to the place I have prepared for you in paradise. Until that time – the time when you will see Me face to face – I hold you, enfolded, in my strong arms. Let Me embrace you. Let Me lead you. Let Me love you. Do not fear!

Coming along side one’s spouse in the daily grind of life...

I have to say, my Mama is one of the most insightful women I know. I am truly blessed by our relationship and benefit so much from her advice and perspective. When we were talking the other night, the subject of living life as a wife and mother of 3 came up. And this is something she shared with me. (I’m totally paraphrasing here!)

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When a man and a woman are first attracted to one another they spend a lot of time together. When they are an engaged couple, and even when they are newlyweds, they still spend a lot of time together. This time is spent doing things together but also just being together. 

Unfortunately, for most, this changes once they start growing their family. And this separation becomes more pronounced the more children they are blessed with. Why is this? It comes about because of a seemingly logical mentality that parents fall into: the divide-and-conquer mentality. As their family grows, so does the workload. There are bills to pay, a household to maintain, mouths to feed, laundry and dishes to be done, boo-boos to kiss, quarrels to be refereed, lessons to be taught, prayers to be said…and the list goes on. In fact it is endless. This being the case, it seems logical that they assign themselves the specific tasks that each one – separately – will complete. The idea being they can get more done this way. And then once all is done (again, the idea is) they will be able to meet back up at the end to spend some couple time together. 

But what really happens? There never is a time when all things are crossed off their lists. The tasks and responsibilities that go with raising a family are endless, continuous and often repetitive (as in you end up doing the same tasks over and over and over again every…single…day). So, that much need couple time – the time spent reconnecting and rekindling – gets pushed to the bottom of the list.

What, then, is the alternative? It is the do-it-together mentality…the come-along-side-each-other way of living. Why always go it alone? That is not what marriage is meant to be – not what it is in its very nature. 

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My mother’s words make so much sense. Her insight, which comes in part from her almost 60 years of living life and in part through the Holy Spirit’s gift of Wisdom, penetrates to the core of the matter. Where one is good, two are better.  Two can conquer, where one just flounders. We were not created to be alone, and marriage especially speaks to this truth. 

So what would this look like in the everyday? It will look different for each couple and each family. What is most important is being able to eke out togetherness in the midst of one's particular responsibilities and life as a family. 

Perhaps while one washes dishes the other could be drying them or even sitting close by helping the kids with their homework. While one works on some home project the other could sit close by and hand him, or her, the needed tools or even read aloud a book they’d both enjoy. While one is bathing the kids the other could be nearby folding clothes or waiting, towel in hand, to grab each dripping wet child as they exit the bath. 

Will this always work? No, not always. Will it take some planning? Yes, and probably even some trial and error. But the reality is that doing-it-alone is a lonely way of living. The divide-and-conquer mentality just leads to couples who have no time to connect, no time to build and strengthen their relationship. By purposefully choosing to do these (often mundane and non-preferred) tasks together, you actually get to be together…as a couple. You are able to work alongside each other, united as the two-become-one-flesh you were meant to be and, in reality, are by nature of your marriage. 

There is so much in our world – and even within ourselves – that rises up to separate us as couples. Coming along side one’s spouse in the daily grind of life is just one way to thwart these attacks. Shouldn’t we do everything in our power to strengthen our marriages?  For, if our marriages are strong, our families will be too. And truly what is more important: crossing every last thing off your list or living out your life as a husband and a wife, as a father and a mother, united in love?

And thanks Mama. I love you more than words can say...

 My Mama, Me and baby A

 

Inspiration for the battle

Some days everything seems like a battle.

Body battling sickness, grown-ups battling messes, children battling each other, grown-ups battling a 3-year-old's arguments and a 5-year-old's attitudes, Mama battling a wiggly screeching baby (EVERY time she needs clothes or diaper changed)...

Battling emotions, fears, anxiety, frustration, impatience, exhaustion... 

Some days it is a battle not to loose hope and just give up.

But tonight I was able to realize, this is what I was made for: to 'fight the good fight' and "run with perseverance the race marked out for us" (See 2 Tim 4:7 & Heb 12:1)

And, really, I'm not battling alone...

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9

So tonight, I will attempt to rest easy and rest in Him.

Rest Easy by Andrew Peterson

You are not alone
I will always be with you
Even to the end

You don’t have to work so hard
You can rest easy
You don’t have to prove yourself
You’re already mine
You don’t have to hide your heart
I already love you
I hold it in mine
So you can rest easy

Do not be afraid
Nothing, nothing in the world
Can come between us now

You don’t have to work so hard
You can rest easy
You don’t have to prove yourself
You’re already mine
You don’t have to hide your heart
I already love you
I hold it in mine
So you can rest easy

You work so hard to wear yourself down
And you’re running like a rodeo clown
You’re smiling like you’re scared to death
You’re out of faith and all out of breath
You’re so afraid you’ve got nowhere left to go

Well, you are not alone
I will always be with you

You don’t have to work so hard
You can rest easy
You don’t have to prove yourself
You’re already mine
You don’t have to hide your heart
I already love you
I hold it in mine
You can rest easy

Bringing our distractions before Jesus

How many times have I come before the Lord - entered His presence - with a distracted mind and heart? Too many to count!

Whether in Mass, during adoration or during prayer times it never fails - distractions happen.

I had been beating myself up internally for letting my mind wander or allowing external things to pull my focus away from God. But that is not what God wants from me - it is not helpful.

Father M, at Mass today, told us that when we start to get distracted by the million things running through our heads we just need to bring those thoughts to God.

Father Benedict Groeschel says that we need to "let ourselves be submerged in the presence of Christ." He then goes on to say:

Soon enough...distracting thoughts will enter your mind and unwanted emotions will surface. Instead of trying to shake these off, I have found it beneficial to try to grasp one of these thoughts and look at it in the presence of Christ who seeks my sanctification more than I can ever imagine. ~from Quiet Moments with Benedict Groeschel

In this way I am still able to be in God's presence, with my focus on God, and turn those distraction around. Instead of leading me farther from God these things can lead me closer to Him.

And so tonight as I sat in Mass, distracted by my three small children, I turned my gaze towards God and gave to Him my distractions. I gave my children to Him. I prayed for them. I asked Him to help them love Him and asked Him to bless them.

And that is the best place for my children to be - in God's care. And that is the best place for all my worries, fears, thoughts and desires to be - in God's care.


Ad majorem Dei gloriam

Great is Your faithfulness!

It amazes me...He amazes me. His faithfulness. His trustworthiness. His tender care. His love...Him, Love itself.

After a few days of intense internal struggle, I find myself lifted above it all. Able, once again, to see the greatness of God. My hand in His I am truly lifted up on “wings like eagles” (Isaiah 40:31).

The oppressive dark cloud was overwhelming me...to the point that I felt constricted, constrained, confined - unable even to pray. And yet...

And yet, in the midst of that trial I was able to reach out – to call out with my heart – to God. And to reach out to my husband, and others, to ask them to pray with and for me. I also was able to stretch my will, exercise it, use it to choose to do what I did not feel like doing. Opening the bible - my husband by my side – we began to delve into the Word of God. Speaking it- listening to it. Seeking to make it part of us. And at that moment the cloud lifted. It was as if a physical burden had been taken from me. The difference was palpable.

What made the difference? The prayers that were being offered for me at that exact moment by my mother and little niece? Speaking and absorbing God's own words? Or was it the mere fact of my act of will – that tiny act of subjugation of my emotions to the truth – to the good – to the holy? Perhaps it was all three.

And now my heart and soul can once again glory in God my Savior – God, my loving and merciful Father – my Daddy. And now I can cry out with a joyful heart and see His loving presence everywhere and in everything.

Truly, “the steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning (and every night, and every afternoon and....); great is your faithfulness.” (Lam 3:22-23)

Learning to breathe...

As I was reading today about Shrove Tuesday and Lent I came upon Maria von Trapp's explination of Carnival.

Reading this, I learned a lot about Carnival including that it was orginally a period of time and not just one day. Perhaps I will go into this more at another time but it is something else that caught my eye, the truth of which tugged at my heart. The idea of the beauty and benefit of entering into the liturgical year.

To quote Maria:

    "It is a pity that the Reformation did away not only with most of the sacraments and all of the sacramentals, but also, unfortunately, with the very breath of the Mystical Body — that wonderful, eternal rhythm of high and low tide that makes up the year of the Church*: times of waiting alternate with times of fulfillment, the lean weeks of Lent with the feasts of Easter and Pentecost, times of mourning with seasons of rejoicing. Modern man lost track of this."

And later she goes on to say:

    "It should be our noble right and duty to bring up our children in such a way that they become conscious of high tide and low tide, that they learn that there is "a time to weep, and a time to laugh, a time to mourn, and a time to dance." The rhythm of nature as it manifests itself in the four seasons, in day and night, in the individual's heartbeat and breathing — this rhythm we should learn to recognize, and to treat with more reverence. Modern man has become used to turning day into night and night into day according to his whim or pleasure. He has managed to lose contact completely with himself. He has lost the instinct for the right food and drink, stuffing himself with huge quantities of the wrong things and feeding himself sick. But worst of all, and this sounds almost ridiculous, in the process of growing up he forgot the right kind of breathing. Only babies nowadays know how to breathe. Every voice teacher can prove this sad truth...Again, it is our faithful friend, Holy Mother Church, who leads her children first back to nature in order to make them ready to receive supernatural grace. "Gratia supponit naturam.""

And so I am strengthened - and challenged - to enter more fully into the liturgical seasons and feasts of the Church; seeing there great beauty and a well-spring of graces to aid me in my quest to come to know and love my God better.

Today I will celebrate with joy and appreciation all God has given and shared and tomorrow I will enter into the penitential season of Lent with a heart more ready and willing to be changed.






*Bolded by me for emphasis